About my last two posts

My last two posts are a question I posed and an answer. I asked what you do when you’re discouraged after being attacked by a feeling of utter worthlessness. I had hoped someone would comment something cute and I’d feel better. Or maybe I could turn the feeling into a desperate part of a book. Neither of these things happened. For two hours, I tried not to cry while I shot one sentence prayers heavenward and recalled Solomon’s words from Ecclesiastes saying there is nothing new under the sun and how everything is pointless. I felt his words in a new way that night. I would have prayed more, but I felt like I wasn’t worth God’s time and attention.

My husband came home from a meeting and listened as I told him about the oppressive feeling. I felt better recognizing I felt worthless to one of the three human lives I value the most. He listened and hugged me. I was able to pray more than a few words after that. We went to bed and I still felt the deep discouragement, but recognized it as something that didn’t belong.

The next morning, I woke up still feeling the weight of discouragement on my head. I got ready for work and kept in constant touch with God. He took the weight away gently, one pebble of darkness at a time. The process took three hours and I was left feeling free. I was also left with the desperate need for each of you to know you have worth! You are uniquely created to be you. God loves you. I love you! Don’t give in to those burdensome feelings that want nothing more than to stop you. To weigh you down like a boat anchor and trap you where you can’t be effective. You have worth and are needed, but more than that, you are wanted. You are loved! Never doubt you are loved! I love you…

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